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Push coming to shove is all around us. But, like an annual medical check-up, we ignore it until we are confronted with a serious situation that demands our undivided attention. Push coming to shove is a world within a world—dormant, ringing softly in the background until the time is ripe for it to detonate into a deafening blast. And when it finally transpires, it comes with a mixture of paradoxical feelings: surprise, a sense of predictability, fear, dread, and relief.
Surprise because what was once perpetually in the background appears almost out of nowhere—almost like a dog's low growl suddenly transforming into an aggressive bark. A sense of predictability because what else would one expect from a growl? Fear because a shove changes things, rearranging them so that they are never the same again. Dread because a shove needs to be dealt with; unlike a push, it cannot be ignored. And relief because what was being ignored—what was being swept under the rug—can finally be addressed and brought out into the open.
For these reasons, anyone who pays attention is mostly aware of the world that would transpire after the moment of reckoning, both at a conscious and an unconscious level. Those who do not observe are only subconsciously aware of it and are the most shocked when that dimension finally reveals itself. As self-explanatory a term as it is, push and shove refer to those instances that seem to be one way when there is no push—let alone a shove—but always yield the same outcome if and when push comes to shove.
In this way, this moment of truth is somewhat deterministic, with very constrained outcomes that have been decided long beforehand. It is the brutal aspect of the world—what the world is really like when divorced from all façades and illusory upkeep. Simply put, it is what will happen when push comes to shove.
This concept has been the subject—although under different names—of many books, movies, shows, etc. One does not have to watch _The Matrix_ to know that society is largely a façade—a façade needed to maintain social intercourse and promote personal psychological stability. One does not have to read Nietzsche to know that façades are at the core of the major societal institutions required to keep order and society functioning. One only has to be an active observer—one who is not naive enough to assume that such awareness does not come at a cost.
For a lot changes on the other side of a push that has come to a shove. This is part of the reason, if not the main reason, we pretend it is not there and that push will never come to shove—that things are the way they are.
This moment of reckoning can be reflected in trivial things. It can be seen in the case of the employee who has attributed lack of time as the reason for not working on their CV, the artist who would work on their craft if only their job obligations did not require so much of their energy, and the college student who would read to satisfy their own curiosity if it were not for the hectic schedule that came with their coursework.
Until a pandemic hits and everyone is forced to be home for months on end. A month or two later, not one CV has been worked on, not one piece of art has been generated, and not one book has been read. However, all the good shows have been watched, the movie checklist has been crossed off, and new music has been added to the playlist.
It can also be reflected in more serious cases. For example, the case of a stepparent who has helped raise their stepchild and who—after the breakup—is not allowed to even contest custody of the child. Sometimes, they are not even allowed to continue the relationship. It can be seen when the employee who has given their life for the company is replaced the following day because of a misunderstanding or disagreement with the employer.
It can be seen in the case of commentators and critics who take the moral side of an argument, frothing at the mouth, emphasizing the position they would take in a given situation. Until an unfortunate scenario presents itself, and they have to grapple with doing the opposite of what they professed to do.
It can also be seen in the case of the politician who is an avid supporter of climate change and the protection of the environment, but who is unwilling to contribute to reducing gas emissions by cutting down on the number of airplane trips they take and reducing the number of cars they own.
It can be seen in the celebrity who is a mental health advocate and encounters a situation that challenges them to apply their own advice. Or the social commentator who speaks passionately against capitalism, critiquing systemic inequality while enjoying the comforts of their luxurious balcony or foyer.
Their argument may be valid, but they too wrestle with the complication of living within the system they criticize, usually finding it difficult to reconcile their ideals with their own privileges and possessions.
We live in a world with two realities: one before the shove and one after the shove. The latter is a more accurate representation of people's actual beliefs, identity, and real intentions.
Although this comes at the cost of the death of some illusions and delusions, it can liberate one from these same illusions and delusions, freeing them up to explore actions and ideas they had previously resisted or been insulated from. It makes one mentally prepared—and therefore stronger—to handle undesirable outcomes.
And so, as you sit and observe, take a moment to reflect: in your workplace, in your relationships, with your personal goals, what illusions are keeping you from confronting reality? What truths might a shove reveal?
Until next time, Blogger's Musings—adding value, one essay at a time.
←1. Suffering from aggression and empathy
←4. Science sucks and why that is a good thing
←5. Lying from a self-centred point of view
←6. Why strive to be a better thinker
←7. Terrence Howard's Genius: Redefined
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